One unfortunate slip-out has plunged a lawmaker into the dark world of the Farters Hall of Fame where he will be mocked and ridiculed by savage beasts like Fox News Channel’s Greg Gutfeld and Tyrus until infinity.
California Democratic Congressman Eric Swalwell gave new meaning to the term punching bag on Saturday when Gutfeld’s guest, Fox News Chief National Correspondent Ed Henry, made an appearance to talk about the impeachment hearings in Washington. He quipped that when Wolf Blitzer was talking about the “explosive opening statement he was referring to Eric Swalwell.”
The foul scandal swirling around the congressman started last Monday. MSNBC’s host of Hardball, Chris Matthews, was chatting about impeachment with Swalwell live on air when a conspicuously loud fart noise ricocheted around the studio where Swalwell was sitting. The small studio had excellent acoustics and microphones.
Hardball tweeted: “Sorry to disappoint the conspiracy theorists – it was the #hardball mug scraping across the desk. Get yours today and let’s get back to the news!”
Swalwell, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, responded to the show’s tweet by trumpeting his “TOTAL EXONERATION!” He also tweeted “This, too, shall pass…” in response to model Chrissy Teigen’s post, “no it’s a fart don’t ruin this.”
Media practitioner Wil Donnelly was confused: “A farting coffee mug? Well that’s a new one. When I scrape my mug across the desk it sounds like a mug scraping across the desk,” he tweeted.
After Matthews vehemently denied that the loud, gaseous noise slipped out from him or the congressman, intrepid internet sleuths immediately went into action.
BuzzFeed reporter Addy Baird decided to cut through the cheese and ask the congressman for an on-the-record confirmation via text.
BAIRD: I’m really sorry about this but I have to ask if this was you or someone in the studio.
SWALWELL: It was not me!!!!! Ha. And I didn’t hear it when I was speaking.
BAIRD: You look like you heard it and are stifling a laugh.
SWALWELL: I def did not hear it.
Others dug up old videos of Matthews executing explosive farts on air as evidence that he did it, but they appeared to have been doctored.
Many journalist were desperately trying to avoid reporting on this incident, but every site and several news channels were weighing in. The story started taking on a life of its own.
The Washington Radar investigative team gathered to examine the evidence, a three-minute video from MSNBC. “The president used tax payer dollars to help the Ukrainians cheat–,” Swalwell said right before a pregnant pause.
They observed visible stomach tightening during which Swalwell appeared to levitate off his chair about half-inch to facilitate the forceful release of air. Circumstantial evidence pointed to Swalwell as the culprit.
After a brutal week of wall-to-wall impeachment coverage, Americans were clamoring for some levity. Another star of the week was a young woman aggressively chugging the dregs from a very large coffee mug in the hearing room while cameras were trained on her. Her head was tilted back at an almost 45-degree angle.
You can tell the impeachment inquiry is losing air when reporters, the Twitter mob and even the media are obsessed with coffee chuggers and a flatulence mystery.