NBC’s Saturday Night Live hopes to breathe life into the real, morose impeachment trial of President Donald Trump with a fake version.
The cold open was entitled “The Trial You Wished Had Happened.” The script writers indulged the Democrats’ fantasy of a trial where the ‘criminal,’ election-stealing president they despise takes the stand, complete with a Harvey Weinstein-style walker — because Trump is a sex offender too, of course.
In their fantasy impeachment trial on Saturday, Kenan Thompson played messy Judge Mathis who chases away Chief Justice John Roberts, played by Mikey Day, to kick some Republican butt.
It featured coveted wannabe witnesses like John Bolton, played by Cecily Strong, that were shut out of the real trial. The entertaining Pete Davidson played witness Hunter Biden, the wayward son of Democratic presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden, who worked for a Ukrainian energy company for a reported $50,000-a-month during his father’s tenure as Ukraine’s point man.
The star of the show was Alec Baldwin, appearing as the president, hobbling in like Weinstein would, on his walker. Trump finally gets what impeachers around the country have long desired. He is found guilty.
The real impeachment trial lacks any pizzazz. Senate Republicans have been stationed at the frontlines of the talking points war for the last two weeks, forced to adjudicate articles of impeachment that were formulated without a credible case of malfeasance. They have found creative ways to pass the time.
The Associated Press reported last Sunday: “A Democrat in the back row leaned on his right arm, covered his eyes and stayed that way for nearly a half-hour. Some openly snickered when lead prosecutor Adam Schiff said he’d only speak for 10 minutes. And when one of the freshman House prosecutors stood to speak, many of the senator-jurors bolted for the cloak rooms, where their phones are stored.”
“‘I do see the members moving and taking a break,’ observed freshman Rep. Jason Crow of Colorado, one of the House prosecutors, in mid-speech at the center podium. ‘I probably have another 15 minutes.'”
“The agony of the senator-jurors had begun to show the night before, with widespread but more subtle struggles to pay attention to opening arguments. Gum-chewing, snacking, yawning and alleged napping could be seen throughout the cramped chamber,” the report noted.
Most Americans, if polled, would have preferred root canals over the torture Democrats inflicted on them for the last two weeks as they repeated their Ukraine talking points over … and over … and over again.
They threw up their hands in frustration on Friday when the trial did not finally end as promised with a vote to acquit. To their dismay the lawmakers had wrangled yet another three days out of House Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) for even more grandstanding in front of the cameras.
“We all need a break,” said Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC). “This is as close to purgatory as any of us want to get.”
The president is expected to conduct his State of the Union speech on Tuesday without an acquittal as the trial drags on … and on.
The impeachment circus, which runs from 1 p.m. through primetime and often stretches into the wee hours of the morning, attracts catastrophic ratings. CBS has attracted an average of only 1.52 million viewers, followed by ABC with 1.29 million and 1.26 million for NBC. Maybe if it featured SNL’s cast of characters it would have been worth watching.